Alright this is just a quick post to let you all know that my Internet is screwy and keeps shutting down (this is the 2nd time I've tried to post this message). Also, this stupid machine completely erased all of my files which is why I haven't responded to any emails. Status pending. =)

I HAVE A NEW WEBSITE

WWW.XANGA.COM/THE_17TH_SHEEPIE

that's right

new name

the_17th_sheepie

reach me there

i'm tired of this one

Mmm. You know the most wonderful thing about this Thursday? It's only 9:12 AM and I already know what it is: I am not working today. At all. One entire day, free from Old Navy. It should be wonderful.

Yesterday I had a 3-hour shift. Not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still work and I still had to do it. Laynie and I washed windows - inside and out. In the two years that we've both worked there, we have never washed the windows - never even seen anyone doing it. So it was quite an experience and we were both rather wet at the end. Fun nonetheless.

11:00 rolled around and BAM! I was out of there. Practically ran out. I drive home and start making lunch. This story is probably a paragraph on its own, so here it goes.

It's called "Tortilla Soup" and the picture looks very appetizing: clear broth, tortilla strips, lime, and tomatoes and green chiles floating around looking very happy indeed. I think, "Hey, sure, this looks good and easy. And the ingredients, minus lime, are pretty common. I'll make this." Mmmmyeah. Cooking is never easy for me. We didn't have lime. No sweat. I have lemon. Same difference, it's citrusy, it works. We didn't have tomatoes. Hey don't worry, I've got Rotel. Chiles? Rotel again. These substitutions are simple, they make sense. We didn't, for the love of goodness, have condensed chicken broth. #$%*^?! How can we not have chicken broth? Doesn't every household have a can of that somewhere, and if not, don't they have something similar like chicken noodle or beef broth or SOMETHING? So I skip the broth part. Just ... completely left it out. I know you're not supposed to do that but I had already chopped a cup of onions and I was not letting all that go to waste. My brothers probably won't even notice, I think to myself. Well they noticed I set the fire alarms off with all the smoke I was creating. And they noticed that frying tortilla chips in hot oil takes some skill that I do not posess. And they noticed this "salsa soup" was so spicy we had to refrigerate some of it to literally serve as spicy salsa. Argh. I'm never cooking again.

Oh, and Garrett called right during the onion-chopping escapade. So after I clean up and reapply bandages to my blistered fingers, we go to Sheridans and the bank and his house. And play pool and air hockey and arcade games. Then to my house and chess. I swear, I've never lost so many games in one day. Maybe I'm terrible, maybe Garrett's awesome. Either way, it didn't go so well. But it really was a ton of fun, and thanks to Mr. Jones for GETTING ME OUT OF MY CRAZY HOUSE for an afternoon.

Yes, I'm posting again. I'm that flipping freaking bored. Too lazy even to spell that ghetto-style. Sorry, Tim. Can you ever survive my whiteness? Just teasing, homie, you're the coolest dude I know and you know it *snap snap*.

I have decided that Donnie Darko is the most freakishly awesome movie ever. Alex McCoy is exalted upon a pedastol of infinite glory for introducing me to that marvelous film. But Jake jil-in-hall is ... oh ... wow ... words escape description for that guy. Hmm. Well. A good actor. That much can be said. Too bad I'll never see Day After Tomorrow. I think I'll just rewatch Donnie's escapades a few dozen times instead. What a movie. What a man. What a demonic bunny.

I have bad - good? - news. I am working this weekend, and so am stuck home for the weekend of the 4th. I could have been in Missouri wake-boarding big time. Skiing incessantly. Slalom ... come to me! But no. Instead I will be folding denim. Normally I wouldn't mind, but if you've read the post preceding this you'd know I just did that and since I can't fold denim prettily anymore there's really no point in me living anymore. Wow I need some chocolate. Or a man. Na, chocolate is constant. And cheaper. =)

What was I saying ... oh yes, so I'm in town all weekend. Ack? What is there to do in Olathe? Maybe I should take a road trip. Where to? Chicago. St. Louis, New York, South Dakota, Iowa, Indiana, Pineville, Salina, I DON'T CARE! =) Just please get me out of Olathe.

Wow. Now that I'm home for awhile, I can afford to post some more. My day today: work. work some more. finish up with a rousing cheer for WORK! =)

It really wasn't bad at all, though, other than the fact I was a little late. I misplaced my schedule and didn't come until 9:10, so a tad tardy. Oh well. But! I was fortunate enough to work on the denim wall all day today - 9 to 6 - and I had such a blast. See, some of you might think I was being sarcastic. The pathetic part is that I'm not. I really do like doing the denim wall. It's relaxing and simple and it feels awesome to step back and view the masterpiece that is the completed Old Navy Women's Denim wall. *sigh* Perfectionism running rampant within my veins. What a heady feeling. >=)

Unfortunately, about an hour into the wall I was called back to the manager's office. "Stacy," squawked the walkie, " I have some bad news for you. Come on back to the office. I think you'll be upset." Here's me, thinking HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO BE FIRED and all Michelle wanted to tell me was that we're not supposed to 'fat-fold' the denim anymore. Just fold it the simple way. Well, that was just as devastating. Fat-folding looks so nice and thick when it's done. Simple folds look ... flat and ... messy. But hey. Apparently Old Navy doesn't care about it looking good anymore, they just want it filled up. Which is all fine and dandy, except they didn't send us enough denim to fill it up. So I had to move shelving and re-fold all day. It was a lot of work, but it's finally done! I seriously had to move EVERY pair of jeans. Let's see, 3 columns and 7 rows each section - 21 total, 10 per section, times 6 sections that's 1260 plus backstock ... about 2000 pairs of jeans. That's a mountain. And now my mom wants me to go fold my clean clothes ... arrrgh.

Got a raise today. That was nice.

Nothing to do tonight.

No one is around tonight.

Come back.

And customers are ditzy and stupid and I seriously doubt the sagacity of giving many of them driving licenses. Sheesh.

: Great Salt Lake

The Best Kept Secret

by Stacy Edwards

I was an innocent victim. A bystander. A tourist. An incredibly gullible sucker. Thus begins the story, the nightmare, and the truth about the Great Salt Lake.

It began as a simple diversion - the Lake was twenty-three minutes from the hotel room and why not visit? It's one of the great (and only) wonders in Utah, listed in every tourist guide and map in the area. And so my debate coach, I, and two other members of the debate team hopped into the white rental car and set off for the purple mountains majesty rising over the horizon.

I suppose the first sensation to hit as we approached the stagnant pond locals call a lake was "Oh my goodness what is that SMELL?!" Smell, perhaps, is not the right term. A complete and total assault on the olfactory sense was what really happened - this was a pure stench. A stench so intense people have been known to become vomit-induced. What a welcome.

Now don't get me wrong - the lake itself is lovely, and mountains rise in every color along its rims. Every guidebook will mention the lovely sights and attractions, but few mention what the lake is truly like.

The Great Salt Lake ranges from 4-28% in the salinity levels; the ocean is a steady 3%. The Lake is so salty that no fish can live in it. Indeed, the only living creatures able to survive are tiny brine shrimp which live on the algae and bacteria. Incidentally, it is the decomposition of the algae that releases sulfites, creating the nasty smell. These brine shrimp are so tiny and insignificant they are inconsequential, except for one notable function: their role in producing sand.

The sand of the Lake is quite unique - it is completely round, like tiny and reduced balls. It feels wonderful on bare feet. Or it did, before I learned this "sand" was actual brine shrimp fecal matter coated in minerals. The process is much like how a pearl is formed. Knowledge is power, but it sure can ruin pleasure.

These brine shrimp, however, are not free to eat, reproduce, and make sand as they please. Brine flies feed on these little shrimpies and do so with relish. When approaching the lake, one sees a beautiful blue sheet with a delicious haze steaming above it. A black ring around the edges is also noticeable - dirt, as the casual observer will decide. It is NOT dirt. This black ring, encircling the entire Lake, is a colony of brine flies. Thousands, millions, countless flies swarming everywhere. Girlish screams pervade the quiet. The whole experience was, in a word, disgusting.